Optimism
by Mia M. Turner
Summary: Sonny's becoming extremely ill. Her work is pushing her harder than ever. James wants her back. Portlyn hates her guts. And somehow... She still kept a smile on her face. Follow Chad's struggle to find out why. Channy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Okay, I know I suck because there was such a huge delay on getting this out and it's SUCH a short chapter. But I can explain.

First off, I had to do a LOT of research for this story. It's going to tackle a lot of very delicate subjects and I hate it when people try to write about a delicate subject that they know _nothing_ about. So research for this took up much of my time.

Second off, it's the introduction. Which means I'm just setting everything up, which means I don't want to get to the meat of the story yet, which means a short chapter. But now that this is up, I can get moving with the rest of the chapters much more quickly.

This is a sort-of sequel to The Journal, as in, you don't have to read it to follow this story, but it certainly would help explain some little details, such as why Sonny and Chad are already together and why he's living with his grandparents... All that jazz.

Here's the first chap, without further ado :D Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sonny With a Chance

"_And finally... Sonny Munroe!_"

Sonny nearly fell backwards at the thunderous cheers and applause that greeted her as she stepped out in front of the curtain, waving for the crowd. It seemed louder than usual tonight, in fact... She hadn't thought her performance was much more spectacular than it usually was...

She glanced around for a moment before her eyes came to rest on the culprit. Sonny beamed.

Chad.

He was standing in the wings, applauding loudly and whooping it up in that ridiculous manner of his. She giggled to herself when she saw Marshall motion a request for him to keep it down.

Chad was her number one fan. And she loved it that way.

She loved being on So Random, and she wouldn't trade it for anything. However, she lately found herself looking forward to the end of the show, when the curtain would drop and she could run into Chad's arms once again.

Soon after her daydream ended, the curtain closed and the cast scattered. Sonny didn't hesitate. She ran off to the backstage area, enthusiastically wrapping her arms around Chad's waist. Chad closed his eyes and smiled contently as he held Sonny close to him. He lifted a hand, running his fingers soothingly through her hair, and turned his head to give her a soft kiss on the ear. Sonny giggled at the tickling sensation.

"How was I?" she asked, standing on her toes to give him a peck on the cheek.

Chad placed a hand on her cheek, stroking her soft skin gently with his thumb. "Perfect, as usual. You blew all those randomites out of the water."

"Jerkface," Tawni spat, briskly striding past him.

"Your mom," Chad muttered back. Sonny couldn't help but giggle. He refocused his attention on her, a strange, somewhat worried smile crossing his face.

"The only thing, Sunshine, is that you looked really tired." He lifted a hand to feel her forehead. "Did you get enough sleep last night? Are you getting sick?"

Sonny blushed at the way Chad fussed over her. There was something about the fact that he wouldn't do it for anyone else but her that made her feel so... special, for lack of a better word.

"I'm fine. I did feel really tired... Which is weird. I got plenty of sleep last night."

A small 'tsk' escaped his mouth before he place a hand on her back, leading her out.

"Well you look exhausted. Let's get you home."

Sonny smiled as she held his hand, lacing her fingers with his, and followed him out to the Condor Studios parking lot.

Everything was perfect. She'd never been so deeply in love... Never experience what is was like to have someone that was your whole world...

Things couldn't possibly get any better.

---

"Mom, I'm home!" Sonny called out as she stepped into her apartment, Chad staying close behind her. She waited a moment or two, but received no response. Sonny shrugged, turning to face Chad. "I guess she's working late again."

Chad smiled, a hint of mischief glistening in his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You know, I would be a really bad boyfriend if I just let you stay here all alone with no one to keep you safe."

Sonny giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm a big girl," she answered, kissing his nose gently. "I think I can handle it." She squeaked in surprise when Chad placed a hand under her legs, lifting her up into his arms.

"I insist," he said with a smirk.

Sonny laughed when he walked over to the couch, lifting her up high before dropping her down unceremoniously on the cushions.

"Soo..." he began, sitting down next to her. "What should we do now?"

Sonny smiled at him. "Sleep."

Chad frowned. "Sleep? Already? It's barely nine... On a Saturday no less. I was gonna take you out for a coffee or something."

Sonny sighed, her expression softening. "I'm sorry Chad... Rain check? I'd love to go tomorrow morning."

Chad raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure you're okay, Sonny? You slept in the car the entire way here and you still look like you could fall over dead at any minute."

Sonny waved his concern off. "I'm fine," she paused to yawn, "I'm just so sleepy... Please, can we put this off 'til later?"

Chad rolled his eyes dramatically, sighing. "Fine. But you know the King of Drama doesn't wait for _anything_, right? Bending to your will like this can't possibly be healthy for my awesomeness."

Sonny giggled, lying back on the couch and pulling a blanket off the arm. She smiled sheepishly when Chad took it from her, placing it over top of her and tucking her in. She closed her eyes, eager to let sleep take over as Chad stroked her hair.

"Aren't your grandparents going to be expecting you home?" she mumbled tiredly. Chad smiled down at her.

"That's why they invented texting."

Sonny giggled to herself before easily falling asleep. Chad sighed, shaking several worried thoughts from his head. He figured Sonny had just had a long week rehearsing. He remembered how tired he used to get when he first started doing Mackenzie Falls... Remembering that made him feel better. He sighed heavily; their date would just have to wait. Chad leaned forward and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"G'night, Sunshine. I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for the kind reviews everyone :) We're finally getting into the meaty part of the set-up here. And here is where you're gonna see why I had to do so much research before diving into this fic. I want to show this subject the respect it deserves and not just use it for a cheap emotional reaction from the audience.

Not much else to say except PLEASE review :) Enjoy, all.

---

Chad winced as Sonny made another particularly dramatic stumble on the stage, followed by a loud and exasperated "_Cut_!!" from Marshall.

Something was wrong. There had to be. Sonny simply wasn't being herself. Chad loved her energy. She was always so bouncy and bubbly... Lately it seemed she'd developed more of a quiet charm. This was mostly due to the fact that she was just tired all the time. It made very little sense to Chad though. She got plenty of sleep, he made sure of that. And still, she would fall asleep on the way to the studio, her eyelids drooped heavily in the cafeteria, and she was having trouble concentrating during rehearsals, as was evident at this moment.

"I'm sorry Marshall," Sonny muttered apologetically. Chad cringed. Her voice sounded so timid and pitiful, almost like a young child being scolded by their mother. It simply wasn't like her. Sonny would have normally gave an enthusiastic apology and bounce back to her starting position to try again.

"Calm down, sweetheart," Marshall instructed calmly. "Take your time and start over, alright? No big deal."

Chad rubbed his arm uncomfortably. It seemed even Marshall was taking notice to Sonny's strange behavior, and opting to tread carefully around it. Sonny nodded, her eyes glistening slightly with unshed tears. Chad hated this. Just when he was certain he couldn't possibly watch any more, Marshall instructed the cast to take a break. Chad ran instantly to Sonny's side, not giving her the chance to get off the stage first.

"Sonny, what's wrong with you?" he asked nervously, taking her hands and carefully helping her off the stage. Sonny smiled weakly at him.

"You worry too much, silly," she responded quietly. "I'm just tired. I've been so busy..."

Chad frowned. "I got tired a lot too when I first started working on Mack Falls. But never like this. You're a whole different person, Sonny."

Sonny only continued smiling. "It'll pass, Chad."

Chad made a face. "Shouldn't you be a little more upset about this?"

Sonny's smile only seem to grow at this. "I can push through anything, Chad. Frowning won't solve anything."

No sooner had she finished her sentence when she wobbled slightly, falling forward into Chad's arms. Chad gripped her elbows tightly.

"I'm taking you home," he told her firmly, helping her stand up straight and walking her out the door.

He was even more concerned when Sonny didn't argue. Everything was an argument with them, even after they confessed their feelings with each other. It was always their 'thing' in a way.

He quickly ushered her into the car, driving off in the direction of her apartment.

---

The night went by agonizingly slow, but it was surprisingly relaxing. Sonny's mother was working late again and Sonny was too exhausted to go out anywhere. Chad had dragged a giant comforter out of her closet and snuggled up on the couch with her. Somehow she'd convinced him to watch both Twilight movies with her. Normally Chad would have refused until he won, but he didn't feel like this was a good night for arguing.

He continuously glanced down at Sonny throughout the movie. Her expression often appeared pained, though she'd viciously deny it when he commented on it. Stranger still, she seemed to be favoring the joints in her arms; massaging them as though they were sore.

The credits began to roll as Chad sighed and pulled Sonny closer to him.

"Are you sure you're alright, Sonshine?"

Sonny sighed. "Chad, stop asking me that. I'm totally fine."

"You've been kind of rubbing your elbows a lot..."

Sonny laughed his concerns off. "Just sore. Not used to being so active during the day."

Chad smiled a bit, trying to convince even himself that everything was fine. "Maybe a warm shower would help," he suggested. He nudged her and winked, attempting to lighten the mood. "I'll even help you if you want."

Sonny giggled as he clicked his tongue. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" She giggled again at his charming smile. "It's a good idea, but I'm so sleepy... I think I'll just go to bed."

Chad frowned again, standing up and leading her to her bedroom. Sonny flopped down on her bed without a word, hugging her pillow to her head. Chad pulled the comforter over her, tucking her in gently. Once she was settled, he laid down next to her and put one hand on her back, one on the back of her head, pulling her as close to his chest as he could get her.

Sonny giggled, looking up at him. "Chad, don't be silly. Go home. Your grandparents probably miss you so much."

Chad only held her closer. "I'm not leaving you," he spoke seriously, far too seriously for Sonny's tastes.

"Chad, let go," she complained. You're being ridiculous I'm just fine."

Chad tightened his grip a bit, prompting Sonny to stop her wiggling. "I'm _not_ leaving you."

Sonny rolled her eyes with a smile, cuddling into his chest. Chad stroked her hair gently until she fell asleep. It didn't take long. She snored a bit, causing an unwanted smile to sneak its way onto his face.

He couldn't find it in him to fall asleep. He watched her face intently, observing the way her chest moved up and down with her breathing. She seemed so much more peaceful than the way she looked lately when she was awake.

Hours passed. Chad was nearly drifting off, the monotonous sound of the ticking wall clock lulling him to sleep. No more than two minutes later, Sonny began squirming in his arms.

He shot his eyes open, worried that she'd woken up. He frowned to see her still sleeping, albeit with that familiar pained expression on her face. He noticed this time that it was accompanied by sweat, however. He gently placed the back of his hand on her forehead, gasping quietly in surprise at just how hot she was. He quickly removed his hand when she winced at his touch.

Panicking, Chad reached over to the nightstand, grabbing his cell phone and composing a quick text.

"_Gramma. Sonny's sweaty and hot and has been really tired. What do I do???"_

The wait for her response felt like an eternity. He knew his grandparents weren't exactly text-savvy, and in fact, that the practice was very difficult for them. It still seemed to be taking a while, though... He nearly broke the top off his phone when it finally buzzed.

"_Doc's visit wouldn't hurt."_

Chad sighed. She wasn't one to mince words. Still, her advice made as much sense as anything else. Chad carefully placed his phone in his pocket before taking Sonny's shoulder and gently shaking.

"Sonny... Come on hon, wake up..."

Sonny groaned, sniffling slightly before looking up at him. Her eyes were bloodshot.

"C'mon Sonny. We're going to the emergency room," he told her, getting up and collecting a few necessities in one of her duffel bags.

Sonny frowned, before lifting a hand to her forehead, realizing what he was referring to, and wiping as much sweat off as she could.

"I'm fine. It's just really warm in here."

"It's freezing," Chad answered shortly, walking back to the bed and placing her coat over her shoulders. "Now let's go."

Sonny folded her arms and pouted. "You're being ridiculous."

"Maybe I am," he answered, picking her up and heading for the door. "But better paranoid than dead."

---

Chad paced back and forth in the hall outside Sonny's room, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He idly wondered if anyone thought he was an expectant dad. That would be just what he needed: A good rumor on the front page of People tomorrow morning...

Being that it was rather late at night, they'd taken Sonny in right away. Their quick response did nothing to ease his worries, however. The more he paced, the more he contemplated what could be the problem. Maybe it was something as harmless as the flu. Maybe it was as serious as an impending heart attack or stroke. Either way, he didn't like the idea of his Sonny being in pain... He ran a nervous hand through his hair, quickening his pace. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door finally opened.

"What happened, where is she, is she alright?" Chad demanded before the doctor had a chance to say anything.

The doctor merely raised a hand, waving him inside. His stomach was in knots as he stepped into the room, braving a look at Sonny.

He was surprised to find that she appeared to be perfectly healthy... Perhaps even peaceful. Granted, she was still sweating, and she still looked tired. But perhaps his wild fantasies about what could have been wrong with her made it seem as though it wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be. Chad sighed in relief, sitting down at the edge of her bed, next to her. He placed his hand on top of hers, some of his relief waning as he observed how warm it was.

"So... what's the word?" he asked, stroking Sonny's hand gently with his thumb. The doctor opened his mouth to speak, but Sonny raised a hand to stop him.

"I should tell him," she said calmly. Chad's eyes widened a bit. What was going on? Every possible outcome made no sense. He simply couldn't fit the pieces together.

Sonny sighed, squeezing his hand gently, and smiling weakly up at him.

"...It's a form of Leukemia."

Chad stared ahead at Sonny for a moment.

His hearing stopped.

His vision blurred.

His heart pounded so fast, he was surprised he wasn't having a heart attack.

He slowly released Sonny's hand, watching it fall out of his grip.

And then there was nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** So I hate doing this to you guys, but this is another one of my 'bridge' chapters that's necessary to get us from one juicy part of the story to the next, so there's not a lot going on in this chapter. Action starts up again next one, I promise.

I also promise that there won't be a huge delay in getting the next chapter up like there was with this one. There's a few reasons this was delayed.

One, I went to a Sonny taping last Friday. Sterling and Demi wished me a happy birthday, touched my hand, signed a poster, and took a picture with me, so as you can probably understand, I was on a Cloud 9 that I couldn't possibly come off of to write :P (Anyone's who's interested in how that episode went can follow me on twitter: MiaTurner. There's a twitlonger about it :) )

And then of course this weekend was my 21st birthday, and I spent it in Vegas.

Third, this chapter was sounding a lot like a text book. rather than a story, and it sounded unnatural. I pretty much had to make a total re-write of it to make it a series of events and not a random spewing of cancer facts.

So now I'm back to writing and will be updating more consistently. Enjoy! And please review!

---

"I didn't mean to upset him..." Sonny muttered, fiddling with the end of her blanket. "Are you sure he's okay?"

Tawni made a face and waved her hand. "Please, he's such a drama king. He's just fine."

Sonny swallowed nervously. "I thought that if I told him, and smiled while I did it, that he wouldn't take it so hard. But his eyes got blank and I knew he was gonna go down..."

"It's kind of rough news, no matter _how_ you put it, Sonny."

Sonny shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "I suppose. I was really surprised when you showed up, to be honest... Thanks Tawn."

Tawni frowned. "Don't be ridiculous, Sonny. We're all really worried."

Sonny sighed heavily. "You all have no reason to be, honest. If Chad had stayed with me long enough to let me finish, I would have been able to explain to him _why _everything's okay..."

Almost as if on cue, the door behind them opened. Both girls turned to see Chad enter, rubbing his head. Sonny giggled slightly.

"Welcome back, superstar. How are you feeling?"

Chad's eyes widened slightly at her question. He rushed to her side, half pushing Tawni out of the way in the process.

"How am _I_ feeling? How are _you_ feeling?!"

Sonny placed a hand on top of his, shushing him gently. "I feel just fine. Calm down."

Chad pulled his hand back, running it through his hair frustratedly.

"Are you missing the part where you have _cancer_, Sonny?!"

Sonny frowned, almost as though giving him a warning look, before shushing him again. "Chad, you're overreacting."

"I think you're _under-_reacting!!" he exclaimed. Sonny rolled her eyes and sighed. "What are they gonna do?" He snapped. "What are they gonna do to make sure you'll be alright? Cause it better be _everything_ in their power."

Sonny frowned again. "Will you calm down and let me tell you?"

Chad closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, squeezing her hand protectively. "...Okay... I'm calm."

Sonny sighed, patting his hand. "Good. And we already talked about what we're going to do. They call it 'watchful waiting'."

Chad grimaced. "I dunno what that is, but I don't like the sound of it."

Sonny looked down and gave his fingers a squeeze. "Um... Chronic leukemia takes a _really _long time to develop. So... watchful waiting is when they don't treat it right away. I'll keep coming back every three months or so and hopefully the idea is that the cancer will go away without any kind of treatment."

Chad growled, shaking his head. "That's not a good idea. I don't like it. They're not doing everything they can. What about chemo--"

"Chemotherapy won't help, Chad," she interrupted. "Or at least it's likely not to. A _lot_ of kids survive through watchful waiting, Chad. It'll be alright."

Chad sighed, his face starting to turn red out of frustration. "You're not taking this seriously," he said in a harsh tone. It unnerved her slightly.

"Chad, stop it. This isn't helping."

"Sonny--"

"_Stop it, Chad_!!"

Tawni winced slightly, Chad just looked on at her, slightly stunned at the unexpected raising of her voice.

Sonny sighed. "Just stop, alright? Being pessimistic isn't going to solve this problem."

"No, but it certainly makes a lot more sense then the way you're acting," Chad muttered. Sonny opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off when Chad took her hand in both of his and squeezed tightly. "You're going to be okay, you know that, right Sonny? I'm _not_ going to let anything happen to you, no matter what."

Sonny smiled gently at him, patting his arm with her free hand.

"I believe you Chad. But you need to trust me too."

Chad groaned, but gave a reluctant nod.

From there, it had taken an hour to get out of the hospital and back to Sonny's apartment. Mostly because Chad insisted on staying another half hour, harassing the doctor with questions, asking if he was _certain_ she was safe to go back to work the next day, and even threatening at one point to 'track him down and murder him' if he didn't do everything he possibly could to ensure Sonny's recovery.

Chad couldn't help but glance at Sonny sleeping in the passenger seat the entire way home (running a red light in the process). He loved her more than anything in the entire world. He loved her more than he loved him_self_, and her and his grandparents were the only people on the planet that had managed to accomplish that feat.

He didn't know what he'd do with himself if Sonny ever left him. He was convinced that her death would get him a guaranteed one-way ticket to the rubber room. He gripped the steering wheel tighter in his hands. He had to do everything he could... He couldn't let that happen to her.

He pulled up to her apartment, opening the door and carefully lifting her into his arms. He frowned when she groaned and woke up. She blinked a few times and carefully watched his face as he walked up the steps with her, but she didn't speak. She looked positively drained. It wasn't fair. Teenaged girls should only have to look this way when they'd been out past curfew partying with their friends. Not because they were miserably ill like this...

He had a bit of difficulty getting Sonny's apartment door open and keeping a hold on her at the same time, but somehow he'd managed it. He placed her down carefully on her bed, tucking her in and turning out the light. He sat next to her and stroked her hair for several minutes before he heard a timid whine.

"I don't want to sleep," she muttered, the exhaustion in her voice contradicting her words.

"Why not, Sonshine?" he asked, hoping his tone was coming across even and calm.

"I just feel funny," she mumbled, placing a hand on her forehead. "I don't know, I feel like I need sleep, but I can't... I just..." Sonny groaned, holding her head in her hands. Chad was quick to shush her and gently guide her wrists away from her head. He could tell she was getting frustrated. It unnerved him, considering that up until now, she'd been unrealistically optimistic about this whole thing.

"If you let them do Chemo, it might be easier for you to fall asleep at night, Sonny," he suggested quietly. Sonny shook her head defiantly, though it looked like it took all her strength to do so.

"No, Chad," she whispered. "I told you, we already decided what to do."

Chad desperately wanted to argue, but couldn't find it in him, considering how worn out she looked. He placed a hand on her cheek and stroked it gently with his thumb.

"Alright, Sonny. Just... try and sleep, okay? We'll go back to work tomorrow and you'll have a great day, I promise."

Sonny smiled weakly up at him through half-lidded eyes, still refusing to close them all the way. Chad tried snuggling with her, rocking her, and even singing to her, though by three in the morning, the pair was still awake. Chad sighed. They couldn't spend every night like this, just sitting around and praying that the cancer slowly taking over Sonny's body would just go away.

There had to be a way to convince her to do everything she could to get better. There _had_ to be.

---

Now I've already decided the answer to this question, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts: is Chad's insistence on Sonny getting all the possible help she could going to help her or hurt her in the long run? How do you think her first day back at work's gonna go? Tell me whatcha think. You're gonna hafta keep reading to find out my answer to that though. Please review.


End file.
